Hold My Heart
by Montana-Rosalie
Summary: Killian cheats death but Emma still loses him. He's not coming back until she remembers.


**This oneshot is a kind of a mesh up of PotC 3, Doctor Who and "I Will Remember You", that heartbreaking episode of Angel I'll never be over. It's set a few months after Emma brings Hook from New York and even though she calls him Killian now, they still haven't acknowledged their feelings for each other. I hope you enjoy the feels, and stay tuned for new chapter of Stay With Me on Friday.**

* * *

It starts, like it always does, with Gold.

Emma is having breakfast with Henry at the diner and he comes in, his eyes zeroing on Henry, and she doesn't waste time, jumping out of the booth and ushering her son toward the back door, ready for the impact of whatever magic Gold throws at her. One of the unlucky patrons of the diner finds himself in the path of Gold's spell instead and Emma hears him scream as her and Henry fly out of the diner and start running.

She can't remember ever being this panicked, stealing a glance back every few feet and keeping herself between Henry and the diner at all times, desperate to get him as far away from Gold as she can.

Henry doesn't turn toward Granny's Bed & Breakfast to find Neal, bypassing it completely and heading for the docks. Emma's relief when she sees Killian's ship is measured in quick exhalations of breath as she gently pushes Henry to move faster because she realizes this is the only place Gold would never expect them to go, and that's going to buy them some time.

They find Killian in his cabin poring over some maps and his welcoming smile turns into a frown he sees her face.

"Are you okay, lass?"

"No. Gold wants to hurt Henry", she says, wrapping her arms around her son as if the sheer power of her love can protect him.

"Call Charming, tell him to come here ready to fight. Henry's father would also come in handy, if he's not otherwise occupied", Killian says and Emma reaches for her phone, her hand shaking because she can't remember anybody ever going against Gold and winning.

"Call Regina too", Henry suggests, and Killian nods, his hand covering hers until it's steady again.

"Don't worry Emma, we're going to keep your lad safe", he tells her, his blue eyes grounding her and making her believe that everything is going to be okay.

* * *

By the time Gold makes his way to the ship an hour later, everybody's already there, Henry standing in the middle of a circle made out of Emma, Killian, Snow, Charming, Neal and Regina, each one of them ready to lay down their lives for him.

Emma still can't wrap her mind around the fact that Killian is standing by her side like his sole mission in life is to protect her son, and she finally lets herself feel everything she'd been trying to deny; she's in love with Killian Jones and if they survive this, she's going to stop resisting him.

The battle begins and soon it's pretty clear that even all of them together aren't a match for Gold. He scatters them like bowling pins and Henry is left defenseless, staring up at his grandfather like a deer in the headlights.

"Papa, no", Neal yells but he doesn't even try to get to his feet when Gold's cane becomes a sword and he raises it to run Henry through.

Emma screams, racing across the deck and knowing that she won't be able to get to Henry in time, her heart hammering painfully in her chest because this can't be happening, she can't lose her little boy when she'd only just found him.

And then, like a dark guardian angel appearing out of nowhere, Killian steps right into Gold's sword, somehow finding the strength to put his hook through Gold's neck. They are frozen like that for what seems like forever but it's only until Emma reaches them, and then Gold crumples to the ground, his attempts to heal himself having no effect.

Emma can't focus on anything except Killian, standing there a few heartbeats longer with the sword sticking out of his chest until finally his legs give out and Emma goes down with him. She cradles his head in her lap, her hand hovering above him until he reaches for it and brings it to his heart.

"It's okay, lass", he says, and Emma can't utter a single word. "You gave me hope in a lifetime of war."

"Somebody do something", she finally cries because she just can't accept that their story is going to end before it even begun.

"Move aside", Regina says and shoves Snow out of the way, kneeling on the other side of Killian. He's gasping for every breath and Emma feels like her heart is being unsuccessfully ripped out of her chest. "You saved Henry, and now I'm going to try to save you, and if it works there's going to be a price. For both of you."

Emma looks down at Killian and just nods, because she can't think of any price she wouldn't pay for a chance to keep him here with her.

"Do it", Killian gasps and Regina reaches into his chest and pulls out his still beating heart.

"What the hell!" Emma yells, but Regina doesn't even look at her, bringing the heart to her lips and whispering some kind of a complicated incantation to it. The wound in Killian's chest starts to close and Charming pulls Gold's sword out, Killian gritting his teeth and holding onto Emma's hand until he's healed. She pushes his shirt aside but there's no scar; dark stains on his clothes are the only evidence that he was on the verge of dying just moments ago.

"Now put his heart back", Emma demands, her fingers entwining with Killian's as she smiles down at him and runs her knuckles over his cheek.

"I can't", Regina says and everybody just stares at her, waiting for an explanation. "What I just did was cheating death, and that's a big no no."

"Just get to the point, if you please", Killian says and sits up, and even though his voice sounds cool, the way his hand trembles in hers makes Emma sick with fear.

"You have ten hours left on land. When they run out, you and your ship better be out on the ocean."

"And then what?" Emma asks softly, holding her breath for what comes next.

"And then there's a green flash, he's gone and for you it's like he had never even existed", Regina says, and Emma's eyes widen in horror.

"Hold up a minute", Charming says, and Regina tilts her head to the side in expectation. "Why does Emma forget about him and the rest of us don't?"

"Because, prince, this spell wouldn't even work if she wasn't his true love and he weren't hers. And that's the price; he sails an endless ocean forever, and she can't even remember his name."

"Am I going to remember her?" Killian asks, looking at Emma like he's trying to memorize her face, neither of them even trying to deny that they are in love because him almost dying was a catalyst they needed to acknowledge their feelings for each other.

"Oh you'll remember. You'll always remember everything."

Emma just sits there staring back at Killian, speechless and heartbroken, the sudden silence disturbed only by Neal's broken sobs over his father's body to which nobody pays any attention to.

"One more thing", Regina says, and a surge of hope almost takes Emma's breath away as she waits to hear what she has to do not to lose her one true love. "If something can be remembered, it shall come back."

With that, Regina hands Emma Killian's heart and then turns around and presses her lips against Henry's cheek before walking away.

"How am I supposed to remember him if it's going to be like he had never existed?" Emma calls after her and Regina doesn't even turn around when she speaks.

"That, my dear, is up to you to figure out."

* * *

Emma leans against the rail of the Jolly Roger, watching as her parents and Henry disappear back into town, Neal and Charming carrying Gold's body between them. She can't find it in herself to feel bad about Neal's loss because she's holding Killian's heart in her hand and she's too busy telling herself that this is a blessing, not a curse, that ten hours is a long time. After all, that's how long it had taken her to fall in love with him in the first place.

"Well then, lass… We're finally alone", Killian says and puts his arms around her waist, and Emma feels like she went back in time, but this time, instead of pushing him away, her arms wrap around his neck and she looks up at him expectantly, waiting for a kiss that's been long overdue.

Killian rubs her nose with his and then pauses for a moment, silently seeking her final permission. Emma glances at his lips and smiles, and then he's kissing her, no hesitation or restraint left in either of them because they are both aware of unstoppable ticking of the clock, of their time together running out even though they are only just beginning.

Emma sighs and opens her mouth, their tongues meeting and tangling together, her fingers going into his soft hair, and if the ground is moving beneath her feet it's not because they are at sea; it's because this true love, this is what happens to you when you finally find your soulmate, your other half; this is what it feels like to be whole again.

Killian pulls away and scoops her up in his arms without preamble, kissing her again before he carries her below deck and through various hallways, her heart going a mile a minute with anticipation and his heart doing the same in her hand.

When he kicks open the door to his cabin and sets her down on her feet, the first thing Emma does is to find a chest to store Killian's heart, carefully letting go of it and closing the lid. He spins her around and kisses her, his arms pulling her flush against him before they stumble to his bed.

They pull away at the same time and it's like they understand each other without having to talk; Emma sits down and unlaces her boots, dropping them on the floor with her jacket and then watches him take off his hook, the belt with his scabbard and his coat before he kicks off his boots. Finally, he removes the metal contraption that covers his stump and then looks at her with such vulnerability in his eyes that for a moment she doesn't know how to handle it.

"Come here", she says, outstretching her hand toward him and wrapping her fingers around his stump as soon as it's within reach. She tugs on it and they lay down in his bed facing each other, Killian looking at her in that way of his that always leaves her a little fluttery; she searches for the right words that would let him know that she doesn't care about his stump because she's got scars too, and he's the only one that makes her feel brand new. Being with him feels like coming home, and she's grateful for every minute she gets with him because when he was dying, she felt like she were dying too.

"I love you", she says, truth escaping the prison of her mouth because it's the fastest way to make him understand that to her he's perfect in every way. All they have is here and now and she needs him to know, because she had loved him from the moment she met him, and she's going to love him even when she won't be able to remember his name.

"And I love you", he says, caressing her cheek with his thumb and looking at her like she's the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But then again, he'd always been looking at her like that; it's just that she refused to acknowledge it before.

Emma scoots closer and kisses him, breathing him in and starting to work at what seems like a million buttons that prevent her from reaching his skin.

"Aren't you an impatient lass", he murmurs against her lips and helps her get him out of his shirts, her lips finally travelling over his chest, her hands caressing the smooth muscles of his back, fingers counting up the vertebrae of his spine. She loves every little gasp and sigh she gets out of him but she needs him closer still so she shifts her attention lower. He wraps his arm around her waist and sits back against the cabin wall, taking her with him so that she's straddling his lap, his lips tracing down her neck as his hand burns her skin everywhere he touches her. He pulls off her shirt and tank top together and Emma arches into him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as his tongue teases her through the flimsy material of her bra, the pressure she feels between her thighs driving her insane with need.

"Please, I can't wait", she gasps, her eyes drifting closed as sensations assault her from all sides.

"I know, lass", he says against her skin and leaves an imprint of his lips right upon her heart before his hand unbuttons her jeans and she gets up to take them off. He reaches for her and pulls her close to him and she stands between his legs as he kisses her hipbone, his hand burning the small of her back before he moves in for the kill, the scruff on his chin pleasantly scraping her skin on his way down.

Emma braces her hands on his shoulders but her knees still buckle when he drags her panties down and kisses her _there_, his arms the only thing that keeps her upright as pulse beats in her ears so loud she can't hear her own moans. She wants to stop him before he sends her tumbling over the edge because she doesn't want to fly without him but she can't think, can't figure out how to move; she can only murmur _please_ over and over again until his ministrations finally make her explode.

His arms bring her back into his lap and she sits there gasping for breath, her forehead resting against his.

"Are all pirates like this?" She asks him, and he lifts his eyebrow at her, looking incredibly pleased with himself.

"I like to think I'm one of a kind", he tells her with a wink, and she grins, for the briefest of moments forgetting that their time is running out.

And then she remembers and starts wrestling with his pants, her impatience only growing because he leans back on his hand and lets her figure it out on her own.

"A little help?" She finally gives up and he shows her where to open them, giving her an amused smile.

"You only had to ask", he says, and Emma gives him a mischievous grin because it's her turn to play and his turn to beg as she gives him a taste of his own medicine, slowly driving him crazy. Unlike her, he doesn't let it get too far and his arms wrap around her, laying her down with him on top of her, his weight pressing her into the mattress. Emma wraps her legs around his hips and he enters her excruciatingly slowly, their eyes locked together like they are trying to see into each other's souls.

Emma's hand finds his and their fingers entwine, and then nothing in the world matters to her except how it feels when he makes love to her, because it's never been like this, it never meant so much, never touched her where it matters most; in her heart.

When they finally return back to Earth he doesn't let go of her for a second, simply rolling on his back and taking her with him so that she's laying on top of him, resting her chin on her hands on top of his chest.

"How many more times can we do that in the next nine hours?" She asks him, her face crumpling because it shouldn't be like that; they were supposed to have forever, not just a single day.

"Emma… please, don't cry", he says, bringing his hand up to touch her face like it can stop her tears from falling. "I can't bear the thought of being the reason for your sorrow."

Emma smiles and blinks fast, determined to be strong, to give him memories that won't haunt him once he's alone, but make it easier for him.

"Tell me about Neverland", she says to distract them both and then focuses on the sound of his voice and the way his eyes sparkle as he tells her the story of his life until they are ready to go another round.

* * *

The clock on the wall says that they only have half an hour left but when he starts to get up she refuses to let him go.

"Emma, c'mon love, we have to get you off this ship", he says, but her arms have a will of their own; they don't know how to be without him anymore and she starts hyperventilating because it wasn't enough time, it would never be enough time.

"No, no, no, don't go", she cries out, kissing him desperately and feeling disappointed beyond measure that true love's kiss can fix everything except this.

"I have to, Emma. Who knows what would happen if I tried to stay, and you know that the only thing worse than being without you would be putting you in danger."

Emma takes a deep breath and nods, and they throw on their clothes in silence, Killian putting the chest with his heart under his left arm and offering her his hand, leading her back up on the deck.

"It has always belonged to you", Killian says and gives her his heart, and Emma takes it reverently, then gently sets it down next to her and pulls him in for another kiss, aware that the last one is coming soon and refusing to acknowledge it. She doesn't question his decision because maybe he knows something she doesn't, maybe his heart is the very thing that's going to make her remember him.

"I'll never forget", she whispers against his lips, her arms wrapped around him like she means to keep him here by sheer power of will and physical proximity.

"I know, love, I know", he says, his nose buried in her shoulder, his scent enveloping her and making it seem impossible that she's going to lose him in just a couple of minutes.

"I love you", Emma says and he kisses her, again and again until the time runs out and she tastes goodbye on his lips. She picks up the chest with his heart and walks down the ramp, her eyes never leaving his as she fights an almost overpowering impulse to forget about the consequences and go back.

"I love you", she hears his voice one last time and then she's standing on the dock cradling Killian's heart in her arms, watching the Jolly Roger sail away and blinking back tears so she can keep it in her sight until the very last second.

That second comes all too soon and there's a green flash on the horizon as the ship and its captain disappear like they were never here in the first place.

The ocean is like a giant mirror, reflecting Emma's tear-streaked face back at her, and she opens the chest, staring down at the gently beating heart inside it in surprise, feeling like she just lost something important but unable to remember what it is.

"This town is getting weirder and weirder", she says, closes the chest and wipes at her face before turning and walking back to town, taking the heart with her because something inside her rebels at the very idea of leaving it behind.

* * *

Henry and her parents keep telling her about a pirate called Killian Jones whose heart is in the chest in her room, but no matter how they try to describe him he's nothing but a story to her, a romantic hero who cheated death and then had to leave his love behind as punishment.

It's only when she realizes that she's late that she allows the possibility that it's not some elaborate ruse to make her think she's going crazy; her gynecologist confirms that she's six weeks pregnant and she can't remember sleeping with anybody since she came to Storybrooke, much less in the past two months or so.

"What do I do?" She asks Snow and her mother pulls her in for a hug, telling her to believe that the baby is going to help her remember because a child born from true love has to have the power to do so when everything else has failed.

* * *

All through her pregnancy Emma keeps dreaming about a pirate ship and a man standing at the helm, but she always wakes up before she sees who it is, her cheeks wet with tears that don't make any sense in the harsh light of dawn.

* * *

Emma gives birth to a healthy baby girl, and when she looks down at her for the first time she finally sees Killian in her daughter's eyes, everything that had been lost coming back to her in a flash of rainbow colors; she can't believe she could have forgotten his blue eyes, his kisses and how he held her when she felt like the world was ending because they had so little time with each other.

Her parents come into the room and Emma shows them their still nameless granddaughter, realizing that there was always some hidden part deep inside her that prevented her from naming her baby alone so Killian could help her choose the name when he returned.

"You remember", Snow says, noticing the serene look on her daughter's face and Emma nods, unable to stop smiling because she knows that the love of her life is on his way back to her.

And down at the harbor, there's a green flash and white sails appear on the horizon, signalizing to the residents of Storybrooke that Killian Jones is coming home.

* * *

**Review?**


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